What My Body Did
A Letter from SPRe Practitioner Joy:
What my body did when I discovered the truth:
In my family of origin, God was the Truth; we were taught to believe we reflected and embodied the perfection of God. That Truth was supposed to set us free from illness, pain, and unhappiness. But any other kind of truth didn't seem to matter as much, like, that the love and care and togetherness that we, as a family, showed EXTERNALLY, didn't actually exist WITHIN the family.
Truthfully, we were strangers to each other, and nobody cared for each other...but that was a big secret. Everything was a secret, especially to us.
The roots of my story.
I believe the roots of my juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis lie in this. (Ha! "Lie" get it?) If it was the Truth that I was Perfect like God, and from a loving family, how could I develop a disease? Especially one so evident, so inflammatory, so rage-ful, so isolated, so bone-and-tissue-and-everything engaging? From the age of 19, my body has been telling me that the Truth as I believed it...wasn't.
What if we need to know the truth about what happened, not because we need to point a finger at our hapless parents, but to put our minds/bodies at rest. What if it's the discrepancy between what we know happened and what we KNOW happened that's creating the systemic unease in us, and following that, the dis-ease? If we can truly discover that something wasn't right about our stories, then maybe our bodies can stop recreating those stories, and start telling other ones - like pushing the Play button, instead of the Pause.
Coming to under-standing about the truth didn’t happen overnight. My body’s aches and pains were the way in. They were place holders inviting me back to the original upsets. I was able to appropriately recognize and soothe what need the pain represented, and as the adult I could meet that need for my pain/past. Replacing what seemed like an unsurmountable amount of physical discord with a functional physical structure.
And that's how my body helped me push the Play button, and pause the RA, so that I could start my true life.
Joy Walker is a SPRe® Practitioner at Studio Evolve. She believes that understanding the importance of pursuing the health and recovery of mind and body, and that we are all dynamic and multifaceted individuals, is what makes her uniquely qualified to help clients in their journey of health and self-discovery.